Wood you do it?

If I had the oppurtunity to live in the woods and be secluded from civilization I wouldn't. Unless of course, I met a talking donkey and my house was in a swamp. I'd like to have a dog that would talk too. Instead of carrying a rapier and wearing boots, it would wear combat boots and carry an HKMP-5 Submachine gun with an extended bannana clip. It would also wear night-vision goggles and carry a samurai sword on it's back. I would name him blade. Everyday I would go fishing with blade and the talking donkey, (which i would name Don Quixote), and live out my life like this everyday: chores, food, bathroom, fishing, hunting, an occasinal adventure to far far away lands, and then of course i would go back home and watch football games on my huge Plasma screen tv. The tv would be eco-friendly of course and I would also work on my cooking skills. When I got to about my 50's I would emerge from the swamp and become an international culinary guru and start a food revolution.